The Roots of Bitterness: Outrage, Ego, and Stress

Turn in your Bibles to Heb 12:12

Each one of our taste buds contain 50-100 taste receptor cells.

The tongue is covered with them.

Taste receptors sense five basic tastes: sweet, sour, salty, savory, bitterness. Most of us enjoy all five. But bitterness is unique. It is a harsh, acrid flavor.

Bitter foods can be sharp, pungent and unpleasant.

Coffee tastes bitter. Dill tastes bitter.

So do cranberries, arugula, & brussels sprouts. So does cocoa powder.

For most of us, bitter foods are an acquired taste we learn as adults.

But bitterness is not just a sense of taste. It is also a state of emotion.

Being bitter with someone is a painful, vexing blend of disappointment and disgust. A terrible combination of resentment and anger. Oftentimes hostile and sometimes even hateful. We’ve all been bitter at some point.

Romans 3:10-14 says, “It is written, ‘None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands, no one seeks for God. All have turned aside… no one does good, not even one… Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”

A mouthful of curses and bitterness. All of us are guilty. Me included.

Our bitterness might have been directed at a family member or a work colleague; at a neighbor or a rival sports team; at a political party or a public figure; at a brother in Christ; or even an unbeliever. But all of us have, at one time or another, been guilty of bitterness.

Whether that emotion was silent, whispered, shouted or acted upon; we’ve all experienced disappointment, anger, resentment, and disgust toward another person or group of people. All of us can think of someone who has been the object of our bitterness.

But what does the Bible teach about bitterness? Where does it come from, and how should we deal with it when we find it in ourselves? Well the Bible has lots to say on this.

Hebrews 12:12-15 (ESV)

12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. 14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;

The author of Hebrews says, “Strive for peace with everyone” (v 14). With everyone. Peace with everyone. Really?

In the first century, this was a tall order. We know from the New Testament that Jewish leaders despised Gentiles. Not just because of the Roman occupation of Palestine; but Gentiles were considered “unclean.” And the Greeks and Romans hated the Jews. Urging “peace with everyone” was radical teaching in that culture. Teaching holiness was a given. But balancing that pursuit of holiness with a striving for peace, peace with everyone, now hang on. Radical.

I’m sad to say that, in our culture and in many churches today, “peace with everyone” is still a radical teaching. Amen?

He goes on with another balanced instruction in v.15, “See to it” (two things): (1) that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, amen, God’s grace for all; and (2) that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble.

Bitterness is like a weed that causes trouble when it springs up. So we need to “see to it” that it is weeded out.

Well that’s what bitterness does. When bitterness springs up, like knotweed, it causes trouble, and the passage says, “by it, MANY become defiled.”

So what are the roots of bitterness? And how do we address it?

The first root of bitterness is outrage.

Turn to Ephesians 4:29.

29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

The Greek word for clamor is κραυγή (“krow-gay”), which means outcry. And the Greek for slander is βλασφημία (“blas-fe-mia”), which means to rail against. Outcry and railing. The first root of bitterness is outrage against another. That is the exact opposite of striving for peace, amen?

Now you might say, I don’t rage out on someone else. But let me ask you, do you feed on a steady diet of media outrage on others? If you do, watch out. Bitterness is at the door, and malice not far behind.

Let clamor and slander be put away from us. Away from us all. (v 31) Combative talk doesn’t belong in the church. We should be known as peacemakers, not a bitter people. Look at Ch 5, v 1: “Therefore, be imitators of God.” What does this look like? He describes in v 2: “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Do you want to root out bitterness? Put away the outrage. Instead, be kind and walk in love.

Discussion

“Strive for peace with everyone.” Who is the everyone that is hardest for you?
Clamor is outcry. Slander is railing against. Where does that show up in what you say, or in what you consume?
“Bitterness is at the door, and malice not far behind.” What is currently feeding the door?

The second root of bitterness is ego.

James 3:10

James 3:10-18 (ESV)

10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

The author talks about wisdom. He contrasts heavenly wisdom and carnal wisdom. Carnal wisdom is filled with bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in the heart.

A clean heart isn’t bitter. A wise heart isn’t bitter. But a heart marred by jealousy and selfish ambition is bitter. Our ego clamors for its rights and its own point of view. Our ego boasts. And it is anything but wise.

Look at v 15. our ego is devilish. Yikes. And what is the fruit of jealous ambition? See v 16. Where it exists, “there will be disorder and every vile practice.”

I don’t care if you are on the right or the left. Red Sox Nation or Yankees Fan. Coke or Pepsi. Bud Light or Miller Light. If you are bitter toward others, it will lead you into chaos and bad behavior. This kind of thing has no place in the life of a believer. No way. No how.

Instead, we are to sow the seeds of peace. Everywhere. All the time. See v 17.

The wisdom from above is first pure, of course, but also, what? Peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, IMPARTIAL and sincere. If we want to have an impact on our community and in our workplace, we must exhibit these things. Purity is important, yes. But equally important is peace.

The Lord of the Harvest has sent us into the world to make disciples. Do you want to harvest? Look at v 18. “A harvest of righteousness is sown in peace; by who? By those who make peace.”

Bitter people aren’t known for making peace. Bitter people aren’t known for a harvest of righteousness.

Do you want to root out bitterness in your life and wherever you have influence?

Extend grace and take the ego down a notch.

Discussion

Blessing and cursing from the same mouth. Where does that happen in you?
James calls ego-driven wisdom earthly, unspiritual, demonic. Why such strong words for something we usually call confidence?
Impartial. Which of your loyalties makes impartiality hardest?

The final root of bitterness we’ll look at is stress.

There are countless examples of people in bitter distress in the Scripture.

Job in his affliction (7:11) “I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.”

Hannah in 1 Sam 1:16, who wept bitterly when she couldn’t bear a child and was constantly provoked by the mother of her stepchildren.

Naomi in the Book of Ruth, who lost her husband and sons, and changed her name from Naomi (pleasant) to Mara (bitter).

King David and his men when their wives and children were captured by the Amalekites.

King Hezekiah, who was terminally ill.

The prophet Jeremiah in Lamentations.

Even Jesus and His disciples had persecution and distress.

None of us are immune. Everyone of us has things we are dealing with. Health stresses. Money stresses. Family stresses. Work stresses. And the list goes on and on.

Remember that on the cross, Jesus suffered and died for each one of us. But it says in Matthew 27:34, when “34 they offered him wine to drink, mixed with gall (which is the bitter herb, myrrh), but when he tasted it, he would not drink it.”

Jesus refused to sip from the cup of bitterness, not even in his distress.

Hardship is a part of the life of every adult. How we handle these circumstances can change someone’s world and bring God glory.

The scriptures and the Holy Spirit both remind us over and over again that God is near in times of trouble.

Psalms 9:9-10 (ESV)

9 The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 10 And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.

His presence through thick and thin is a comfort. He gave us His Word, which reminds us that we are loved by Him. He will never leave us or forsake us. And with Him, we will overcome in light of eternity. His presence allows us to refuse the cup of bitterness.

Romans 8:35-39 (ESV)

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? … 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

No circumstance can separate you and I from His love for us. Nothing. Not even the devil himself.

1 Peter 5:6-11 (ESV)

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

We may suffer like Job, or the heroes of the faith.

We may be persecuted like our Savior.

But our suffering and stress is only for a season. God has called us to be with Him in eternal glory.

His Kingdom is coming. Not only will He be with us then, He is with us now.

No circumstance is worth the worry, when The Lord has our back and is by our side. Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 6?

Matthew 6:25-34 (ESV) Do Not Be Anxious

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

It’s true. You and I can face any hardship with peace; and without bitterness.

Listen now. When we do this, when we are able to face adversity without bitterness, the world takes notice. And our testimony can change lives.

Philippians 4:4-7 (ESV)

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The peace of God is a shield that guards our hearts and minds from anxiety; and prevents the root of bitterness from springing up.

Discussion

Job, Hannah, Naomi, David, Hezekiah, Jeremiah. Which of them sounds most like your season?
Jesus tasted the gall and would not drink it. What would refusing that cup look like in your hardest current circumstance?
“Nothing will separate you from His love.” What do you actually believe about that on a bad day?

Something to Sit With

So in summary:

See to it that no root of bitterness springs up. Strive for peace.

Recognize the roots of bitterness.

Root 1: outrage (put it away. Instead, be kind and walk in love).
Root 2: ego (take it down a notch and extend grace to others).
Root 3: stress (cast every care on Him, and rejoice, Knowing that He cares for you and nothing will separate you from His love and eternal presence).

Frequently Asked Questions

What does “root of bitterness” mean in Hebrews 12:15?

The author of Hebrews uses the image of a weed that springs up and causes trouble, defiling many people around it. Bitterness is like an invasive plant. Left unchecked, it spreads and poisons relationships, communities, and even churches.

What are the main causes of bitterness according to the Bible?

Three common roots are outrage (clamor and slander against others), ego (bitter jealousy and selfish ambition), and stress (hardship and distress that go unaddressed). Each one can take root in the heart and spread if not identified and dealt with.

How did Jesus handle bitterness?

On the cross, Jesus was offered wine mixed with gall (the bitter herb myrrh). When he tasted it, he refused to drink it. Even in the deepest distress imaginable, Jesus did not give in to bitterness.

What does the Bible say about peace with everyone?

Hebrews 12:14 says to “strive for peace with everyone.” In the first century, this was radical teaching given the hostility between Jews and Gentiles. It remains a challenging command today, calling believers to pursue peace even with those they disagree with.

How can I overcome bitterness in my life?

Put away outrage. Take the ego down a notch. Cast anxieties on God. And lean into the peace of God described in Philippians 4:7, a peace that surpasses understanding and guards the heart and mind in Christ Jesus.